How many times have you heard—or said—the following statements (be honest now): “I really need to lose some weight” or “I’d really like to write a book someday.”
Confession time: I’ve made both of those comments on numerous occasions over the years. It seemed I was destined to be one of those who spend their lives peppering their conversations with “woulda’s,” “coulda’s” and 
“shoulda’s.”
But in the latter part of 2013 some craziness overtook me and I decided to follow through, at least on the writing part. I wrote The Art of Love during 2013’s National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo), polished it during the next several months and put it out there in May of 2014. The book has gotten good reviews and won awards. I’m proud of it. It’s an incredible feeling to accomplish something you’ve thought about doing for more years than you’d care to admit.
Infused with my inner cheerleader’s cry of “You can do this!” I decided last December to pursue my other nebulous goal of losing weight. A dear friend told me about a local nutrition counselor and I’ve been seeing her weekly for the past three months. I’m happy to report significant success on that front, too.
Recently it occurred to me that the path to achieving either goal requires essentially the same steps. Here they are:
1) Set a clear, meaningful, yet realistic goal—not too wimpy and not too grandiose. Do you ever set New Year’s resolutions? According to the Statistic Brain website, less than half of us do so regularly (but you can throw in another 17% who do it once in a while). (http://www.statisticbrain.com/new-years-resolution-statistics/) And sad to say, of those who make those resolutions, only 8% actually achieve them (although nearly half have success once in a while). I think that’s because the resolutions are nebulous (like that pesky #1 New Year’s Resolution: “I’m going to lose weight.”). Not only that, they’re often too ambitious.
Let’s say you’re forty pounds over your high school weight and it’s been, well, quite a few years since you turned eighteen. Should your goal be to lose forty pounds? At some point, maybe, but why not start somewhere in the middle, at, say twenty to twenty-five? That’s doable, at least for the short term. Wanting to lose five pounds? Okay, yes, that’s nice, but probably not good enough if you’re really forty over the line.
As a writer, has your goal always been to write a Pulitzer prize-winning novel? I hope not, since you won’t have control over that process no matter how good your work is. Conversely, if you want to write a novel, your goal shouldn’t be to write a short story. Honing your craft on short stories can certainly be one step toward your goal (more about that in a minute), but it shouldn’t be your goal – not if writing novels is your passion. Instead, why not set a goal something like “I’m going to complete the first draft of my novel by ____[insert realistic date here].”
Here’s a little secret: once you set that concrete goal and see that you can achieve it, you’ll find that you’re on the road to attaining other goals that are perhaps even more important, such as improving your health (in the case of weight loss) and increasing your self-esteem (with both weight loss and writing).
2) Set small objectives that will lead toward your goal. Let’s say your goal is to lose twenty-five pounds. Maybe your objectives are to walk 10,000 steps a day, lose a pound a week, or drop a dress size every month. It doesn’t really matter what they are, as long as they’re smaller than your overall goal, and achievable. The truth is, we’re no different than kids when it comes to behavior modeling strategies: we’re much more likely to reach a long term 
goal if we can see concrete progress (and get rewarded for it) along the way. One caveat here: if you need more of a reward than saying “Yay! I did it!” when you reach an objective, don’t use food to celebrate!
I mentioned that as an aspiring novelist, you could work on your craft by writing short stories. A non-fiction writer might cut their teeth on magazine articles. Many successful novelists started their careers by writing shorter pieces; Earnest Hemingway comes to mind. If you’d rather work directly on your novel, consider making chapters, scenes, or even a certain number of pages your objectives, as in “I will write 2,000 words a day.”
Everyone will go about achieving their goals in a different manner, and that’s okay. The important thing is to put yourself on a road you feel you can travel, and establish guideposts along the way.
I try to keep this in mind: I didn’t gain weight in a day. It was the result of countless little decisions, such as “Oh, I’ll have whole milk instead of non-fat in my latte … it’s only one cup” and “Hey, it’s my birthday; I deserve that huge slab of chocolate cake.” All those small, seemingly harmless choices can add up to one big, bad consequence over time. By the same token, setting small objectives and meeting them has a similar effect: before you know it, those small victories will add up to one big goal achieved.
3) Be accountable to someone. For a long time I never mentioned the fact that I wanted to write fiction because I didn’t want friends and family to ask me how it was going. I didn’t want to have to tell them I hadn’t made any progress. Same thing with my weight. Who wants to feel crappy because they’ve told their friends they want to lose weight and then they pig out at Golden Corral?
But if you’re serious about reaching the goal and objectives you’ve set for yourself, you’ve got to put it out there.
I am accountable to my nutrition counselor every week. I have a Monday morning appointment with her and that’s the only time I weigh myself. Having her know how much I weigh isn’t about shaming me—it’s about understanding what food choices I’ve made during the week and talking about whether they helped or hindered me in my quest to lose the weight.
If you’re serious about writing, having someone who knows and cares about what you’re doing—and figuratively holds your feet to the fire—is just as important. Maybe you can take a class that requires creative writing assignments. How about joining a writer’s group (online or in person) in which you regularly read each other’s work? Perhaps you know someone whose judgment you trust, who will read your work periodically and be honest with you—in a gentle way, of course. It could be as simple as making a commitment to a friend that you will produce those pages I mentioned every week, even if you don’t share what you’ve written. However you structure it, being accountable to someone is one of the spurs that will keep you working toward your goal.
4) Keep handy reminders of your goal. One of my objectives is to walk 10,000 steps every day, and I wear a pedometer that reminds me to do that (tip: buy a pedometer with a little “leash” that clips onto your belt loop; I can’t tell you how many pedometers I lost before I learned that). I also keep a little food diary on an Excel spreadsheet. When I plug in what I’ve eaten, it shows me how many calories and kinds of foods I have left for the rest of the day. Many people think that’s too obsessive, but I’m in the process of learning healthy eating habits, and using that program every day is a great reminder of my goal to lose weight.
Reminders are easy if you’re writing. If you have some kind of bulletin or white board near your computer, use it to jot down your overall writing goal as well as your objectives. If you use a laptop, put the same information on a sticky note and tape it to your machine, or work your prompt into your wallpaper so it’s the first thing you see. Whatever it takes to remind yourself of what you’re trying to achieve, do it. Over my computer, for instance, I have a note that reads: “In every scene: something happens … senses … specificity.” I’m sorry to say I’ve forgotten where I read that – probably from one of my writing reference books. The point is, I see that every day, and every time I sit down to write, I’m reminded of what goes into a good scene.
5) Walk on the positive side of the street. In my opinion, mental attitude is 95% of either losing weight or reaching your writing goals. Some days are going to be better than others. Some days I’m going to hit 10,000 steps or more. And some days, I’m not. I can’t afford to feel bad if I overeat once in a while, even if that indulgence shows up as an added pound on the scale. Likewise, if I don’t write as many pages as I want, or, God forbid, I can’t write at all, I just have to suck it up. Because there’s no greater waste of time than kicking yourself for whatever you did or didn’t do as it relates to your goal. Life sometimes gets in the way. I can say that because I also believe in the sixth and final step:
6) Realize you’re in it for the long haul. Diet? Don’t mention the “D” word in my presence. I’m not on a diet; I’m learning how to eat healthily for the rest of my life. Sure I’ll be able to modify what I eat slightly once I reach my goal weight. But the principles I’ve learned can’t be tucked away in the “Oh these clothes are too big for me now” drawer. The truth is, if I want to stay trim, I can’t go back to eating the way I ate before. Ever. And that means I can forgive myself when I occasionally fall off the proverbial food truck because I know I can start again fresh the next day. Until I drink my last skinny latte, there will always be another day to pick myself up and try again.
So too with writing. The great thing about putting words on screen or paper in a meaningful way is that you can keep doing it pretty much for the rest of your life. (Just be glad you didn’t realize you wanted to become a prima ballerina at the age of forty-two!) So if life becomes complicated and you don’t finish that novel this year, you can keep on going the next year. That’s not an excuse to procrastinate, just a reminder that being a writer is more than just a goal—it’s a way of life.
So, what do you think? Where are you in your quest to lose weight or gain a richer writing life? What’s working? What’s not working? Let me know. I’d love to hear how it’s going.
